Intending Diversity

With birthdays a year and three days apart, we have gotten away with throwing a joint birthday party. We had planned to do so for as long as we could get away with it. The Birthday Bash has become a staple; friends and family look forward to it. We rent out a shelter at the park, grill a bunch of good food, fill up the coolers with beer, wine coolers, water, and juice boxes, and turn the music on loud. It’s fun and laid back, and Mr. Softee even makes an appearance at some point.

Perhaps what I love the most about the Birthday Bash is the diversity of those who attend. We are a mixed family, so naturally there is a diverse crowd when our family gets together; but it’s more than just family. Friends and neighbors pour in until we look around and see a beautiful diversity that is not seen often in Cincinnati. It is so apparent that people comment on it; they remark that they have never seen a party with such diversity as at our yearly birthday bash; they notice it and are grateful for it.

Diversity is in the back of my mind with every choice that I make. As a mom to mixed boys, I feel it is my responsibility to ensure they are among diverse crowds. Though I’m always thinking of it, I recognize that I have major room for improvement; it is constant, ongoing work. It’s important work. And while it’s important for my kids, I’d argue it may be even more important for White families whose villages aren’t naturally racially diverse.

So with COVID this year, we did not have a big birthday bash. The boys still celebrated their birthdays with a few friends. They are fine and hardly remember the parties of yesteryear; yet I am left mourning — not the planning and all that goes into orchestrating it, but rather what it represents. It is likely that for many of our White friends, this is the one time a year that they attend a social event where Black people are also present. Is this okay? No — but all the more reason that COVID needs to go away so that we can have our party.

So what is my point in writing all of this — my point is that diversity must be intentional. Everything from the neighborhood where you live to the parks that you frequent — every choice you make should consider diversity. Where can you go so that your kids will see and play with kids from all walks of life, where they will see families that look different from yours? Each and every time you buy a book, consider what messaging is present in the pictures it portrays… Because with encounters come questions — and with questions, we have the opportunity to shape how our kids think about color, and race, and culture, and difference.

It takes ongoing, intentional work, but in the end, it will be worth it.